Do You Feel Misunderstood By Your Partner?

hands catching the suns rays

Are you and your partner struggling to connect and communicate? Has infidelity or another breach of trust left you wondering if reconciliation is possible? Are unresolved disagreements concerning family planning, financial management, or your vastly different cultural or religious beliefs obstructing your ability to approach your partner with care and honesty? Perhaps you and your partner are considering taking the next step in your relationship, but uncertainty and nerves are getting the best of you. Alternately, you and your partner may have decided to divorce, and you’re hoping that couples counseling can help you separate amicably. Do you fear that the connection between you and partner has diminished, or that you’re no longer sexually appealing? Do you wish you could just feel heard and appreciated by your partner?

Struggling in your relationship can be a very frustrating and lonely experience. You may notice that passive aggressive comments have become routine and you can no longer sustain feelings of insecurity or isolation. If your relationship has fallen out of sync, feels lonely, stagnant or hurtful, it may be a sign that communication, both verbal and physical, has been lost. Couples therapy can help you and your partner relieve tension and get back on track.

At Times All Couples Experience Challenges.

No matter how much you and your partner have in common, the couple dynamic is still composed of two different people with vastly unique histories and experiences. Because of this, all couples experience times of disagreement and discord. It can be difficult for two people of different or conflicting backgrounds to carefully understand the other’s experience. New York City, especially, is one of the most diverse and unique cities in the world, where people from all walks of life have to learn how to adapt and coexist. If you’re feeling misunderstood by your partner, relationship counseling can help you repair your ruptures, fall back into alignment and hopefully enjoy a more intimate and loving relationship.

Couples Counseling Can Help You Reconnect.

Counseling can be extremely effective in helping you and your partner discover new ways of understanding each other’s desires and emotions. In session, we will utilize listening techniques to work toward compromise, reconnection and healing. I know that sometimes things get off track and communication can be scarce and difficult. But, couples counseling provides a safe space for you and your partner to openly explore each other free from judgment.

sunrise over seashore

Early in our work together, you may find that you are more comfortable sharing things with each other in session than outside my office. Over time, however, you will develop the listening skills that you learn in our sessions so that you can practice them in your relationship at home. You will learn how to become a better listener, how to empathize with each other and how to communicate your needs and desires directly.

I’ve been working with couples my entire career, beginning in graduate school. I have extensive pre-doctoral training in couples and family therapy. My approach to couples therapy is action-oriented and interactive. Each partner receives my equal attention as we work together to explore how each partner’s unique underlying experiences and feelings contribute to the conflict or distance in your relationship. Your unique histories and experiences determine the actions we will take to help you reconnect and find healing. The fact that you’re both seeking out therapy proves that parts of both of you are motivated and committed to making the relationship work. Throughout our sessions, we’ll keep this motivation in mind as we work toward you both being able to understand each other in new, healthier ways.

Although you may want to reconnect with your partner, you still have some reservations about couples counseling.

If I already receive individual therapy, do I need couples counseling?

Couples counseling is a completely different experience than individual therapy. In individual therapy, the primary focus is on you—your life, goals, wants and needs. Opposed to individual therapy, relationship counseling allows you the opportunity to work through problems and difficulties as they specifically relate to you and your partner. This work can be incredibly effective because it’s live, on the spot and in a safe, non-judgmental space where you and your partner can openly explore your true, authentic selves.

I’m worried that my partner won’t take couples counseling seriously – they’re only going because I asked them to.

The fact that your partner considered couples counseling shows their willingness to rekindle and explore your relationship. If your partner is initially hesitant about therapy, getting them in the door can feel like an incredible feat. Many couples who were initially reluctant to receive counseling, however, are often pleasantly surprised by the positive change in their attitude and relationship, which causes them to be more motivated and actively engaged in session.

We’re worried that counseling is too expensive and not worth the expense. 

I know that counseling can be time consuming and expensive, but you have to ask yourself, what is more valuable than your closest relationship? Couples therapy is an investment in the quality of your relationship, your life and your happiness. And, over time, you will be able to apply the relationship tools and listening techniques from counseling in your own life.

Couples Counseling Can Help You Navigate Through Your Relationship.

I can help you and your partner understand each other in new and intimate ways so that you can move past your struggle.

 

Testimonials

  • I've had the pleasure of knowing Dr. Skoufalos for nearly a decade--she is not only an incredibly empathic and attuned psychologist, she's also one of the most kind and warm-hearted humans I've ever met. I say 'human' because that's what you can expect from Dr. Skoufalos in her clinical care--a human and humane approach to helping clients explore their deepest pains and greatest aspirations. To the clinical encounter, she brings a diverse background, a perceptive eye, mind-body awareness, and rigorous training in multiple therapeutic modalities-- all of which inform, but do not replace or obscure, her deep attentiveness to the unique person sitting in front of her. Her knowledge of many languages is perhaps the perfect metaphor for her psychotherapeutic practice--a practice that is able to speak the languages od mind, body, and soul
    — Miraj Desai, Ph.D.
  • I never hesitate to make a referral to Dr. Skoufalos. We have been colleagues for over 10 years and her compassion and intelligence set an example of the standard of care that all in the mental health profession should be aspiring to. I'm proud to be associated with Dr. Skoufalos and would refer my closest family and friends to her
    — Carrie Christensen, LCSW
  • Dr. Nicoletta Skoufalos is one of the best psychologists I've worked with. Her work is superb. Nicoletta is empathetic, knowledgeable, encouraging, and has an amazing way of making her clients feel safe, and taken care of. Her manner is both nurturing and firm -- both vital components for you as a patient to get the most out of therapy
    — Marjorie Nolan Cohn, MS, RDN
  • As a colleague of Dr. Skoufalos and clinical psychologist who has worked in several clinical settings, it is with confidence I an attest to Dr. Skoufalos skill as a therapist and ability to connect with others. She has a passion for helping people heal. Regardless of the challenges you face, she will support your path to managing your difficulties and moving toward a healthier self.
    — Isaiah Pickens, Ph.D.
  • I have known Dr. Skoufalos for nearly 11 years. In the course of that time, she has guided me through difficult moments. Dr. Skoufalos has an uncanny ability to ask the right question that always unveils the underlying issue that causes so much anxiety. Once the issue is revealed, she listens very carefully and then slowly, she brings focus to my feeling and asks me to lean into them and not ignore them. She treads carefully and with compassion never imposing judgment, but always giving true words of wisdom that help guide me through the moment to a place of acceptance and calmness reminding me that I am in control and that the only thing I have to do in breathe. Dr. Skoufalos is an amazing therapist that will help you feel calm and empowered. Highly recommended!
    — Sofia L.
  • Nicoletta is a fantastic colleague and psychotherapist. Working with her is always productive. I often refer patients to her because I know they will be in good hands
    — Molly Swersky, LCSW
  • Dr. Nicoletta Skoufalos is a highly skilled clinician, and I am proud to have her as a colleague in the field. She is genuinely invested in her clients, as she provides a warm, compassionate space that facilitates change. I often refer clients to her without hesitation, as I am confident they will be in good hands. Her natural empathic demeanor, strong clinical skills, and professionalism make her a wonderful psychologist
    — Cristina Dorazio, Ph.D.
 
 

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